Praise the Lord for His mercy that I can write for Him. I pray this is not my writing but Christ who write within me. It seems that at different time of the day, I would be writing something different. The thing I was going to write yesterday might not be the same as today. Our experience of the Lord is just so rich.
Through the Lord’s mercy, I came to know the divine truth 3 years ago, when I realized that each human being has a spirit to contact God. I enjoyed the church life a lot, gaining knowledge and learning about Christ, and having fellowship with the saints helped me to grow in Christ slowly. However God’s plan, God’s goal, God’s economy seemed so far from me and were not real to me. 2 years ago, I was involve in a theater show. Each person who involved needed to write something to put in a leaflet and I wrote:
my dream = my career= my reality.
Although I learned about God’s economy, my life was not for Him, my goal was never for Him. It was all about me and what I wanted to achieve for myself. God did not have the preeminence in me and was laid aside.
Last year I did not go to any conferences. I thought I was studying hard but most of the time I was just enjoying my soul life. Last summer, I was encouraged by the saints to go to the university training. I believe it was the Lord’s leading and His mercy that I was there. I would never thought that Christ was ever so real to me before until that week.
Christ became so real to me that I don’t care what other people say. He was not just God but my God. He touched me with His vision and He granted me revelation. Once you are captured, there is no way back – this is very true. I thank the Lord that He has captured my heart. I realize God needs us. Not only we need Him but He needs us. What a privilege! Not only He can be our satisfaction but we can be His satisfaction. I praise the Lord for what I have seen during that week, and He continues to burden me with His vision that I would be one with Him. Daily walk by our mingled spirit and be His army, His priests, His mouth piece, to be a God-man, to build up His body, His church to bring Him back.
I am always thankful that He was not after one man or individual saints but a corporate Body. When I was at Wales conference this year, the thing that touched me the most was to see so many young people loving the Lord. The Body supported me and helped me to grow in Christ. When I was lost, Christ did not give up on me and neither did the saints. “I live, if you stand strong in the Lord, I need you saints desperately”. May we all grow and build up together in Him in His love (Eph. 4:16). In this Godless age, may we all be burdened with His vision, be men of prayer, willing to consecrate ourselves for Him but do everything in love (Rev 2:4).
[sharing by sister Esther from her top enjoyment this past university year in London]